It’s been 4 dates with the girl you met on that online dating site. You like her. She definitely seems to like you. You want her to be your girlfriend, but you’re not sure if it’s too soon to mention this to her. Things are going so well that if you just relax and let it play out, you’ll likely be a couple soon anyway. You just have to be patient sweetheart. I know that’s easier said than done. Even though you realize that there’s a real risk of pushing her away, it seems equally feasible that her eyes would light up at the mere notion. In this scenario, she’d throw her arms around you, utterly beam with elation, lock eyes with you and blurt out “Yes”. You even indulge in pondering for a moment (and only for a moment) to ask yourself if this is foreshadowing.

But you can’t call her and ask her to be your girlfriend and live happily ever after. You can’t take that chance. You begin to grow a bit afraid of yourself. You’re nervous that you’ll talk yourself into it all being okay and pull the trigger. There’s nothing that seems to distract you from thinking about her, which inevitably leads you down the path of action, when it’s inaction you need right now. Nothing, that is, except me. I am the ultimate distraction. You like her a lot. You’re ready to pour out your heart to her. I’m not in search of your heart. I’m on the hunt for your cock.

She and I are not competitors. She does it for you. I do it to you. When you’re with her, as excited as she makes you, you have to be on your game. You strive to look your best in front of her. With me, you lay back, relax, and plug into Ashlee. You don’t need to be in performance mode for me. Eventually she might jerk you off as you lay back and enjoy it, yet I promise you that it will still take way more energy on your part than when it’s your hand stroking your own cock with me in your ear, invading your mind. Is there any chance she’ll be as good at hand jobs as I am at phone sex? Of course not! However, you’re not asking her to provide you the very pinnacle in lust fulfillment. She has her place, and it may be a big place. But I have mine as well.

Back to your need for a distraction (sorry, I guess I got distracted). If you plug into me for a call (or two) tonight, you know as well as I do that she will not be front and center of your mind. Within minutes I’ll be rocking that cock. I invite you to tell me about her. I won’t be jealous babe. I actually embrace the opportunity to coach you along and advise you on how to close the deal. I’m guessing you might have a female friend, a literal girl-friend, who can provide you with decent advice on dating. I’m sure she knows how women are wired and can even wake you up to mistakes you might make without her advice. But will you talk about your insecurities with her the way you will with me? There’s nothing a man can’t share with a woman he lays naked in bed with. Because being close does not have to be about what you read in fairy tales. Our relationship is living proof of that.

Call me love.  Let’s shed our clothes and get into bed together.

And by all means, let’s talk about her (or me, if you insist).